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The Sexual Revolution Reborn!

motivaional_communismmachismo (n.) ma·chis·mo 1. a strong or exaggerated sense of manliness; an assumptive attitude that virility, courage, strength, and entitlement to dominate are attributes or concomitants of masculinity. 2. a strong or exaggerated sense of power or the right to dominate: Example: The military campaign was an exercise in national machismo.

Two studies on why males fight were published last week in scientific journals. They concluded, and rather vaguely, that “machismo may be biologically inevitable.” Its flattering to witness science attempting to prove what males already tend to instinctively and wholeheartedly understand. And that is that violence is an ingrained impulse, it is a tool of survival with origins tracing further back than our collective memory can reach. Men are biologically designed to be protectors/providers, and violence has proven to be a reliable means to secure a meal, protect the chances of reproduction and thus ensure survival. Ironically, though it is a biologically ingrained tool for survival, masculinity’s bastard cousin, ‘machismo’, is actually self destructive. Witness how Man embraces his nature and pushes it to extremes on his survival quest. This is ‘machismo’ and it manifests itself into many evils that all corrode away the core of humanity.

In the individual machismo becomes apparent in fierce competitiveness, an exaggerated sense of Yin–masculine qualities and attributes, and the desire to exert ones manliness or need to prove dominance. On a mass scale ‘machismo’ is evident in the subjugation of women, violence against women, professional sports like the WWF, hockey, football and the roller-derby; arms races and most destructively, war. When masculinity is allowed to mutate into machismo no longer does it serve as a tool of survival but in fact aides in ones own destruction (how can you win an arms race?). Sadly though, machismo is perpetuated and even encouraged by our society. Our governments and leaders, especially our big brother to the south, ooze machismo. The American style of world domination is very patriarchal: heavy handed, exploitative, domineering, and bullish. Even their leaders personal lives reflect and are celebrated for their machismo. The entertainment industry caters to chauvinistic fantasies as well, espousing false values that plant seeds of illusion in the minds of young men and thereby perpetuate machismo. Hollywood churns out male oriented movies wholesale. Here sex is objectified, war is glorified, and people are exploited. Despite somewhat of a backlash spawning from of the feminist movement to recreate the modern woman, when men had begun to feel comfortable expressing their vulnerability, sensitivity and traditional feminine qualities, but alas machismo still stubbornly stands erect.

Its foolish to deny that testosterone and all that inclines men to fulfil their biological role is in itself evil. However it is wise to carefully identify which male qualities and values we cling to that are potentially harmful and destructive to ourselves and others. We need to look at the underlying desires that fuel our chauvinistic urges and establish more productive means to meet our desired end. Our rational mind, perhaps our most valuable tool of survival, must consciously push us over this evolutionary hump and see to it that machismo is eradicated.

CheapSwill wholeheartedly endorses the fantastic sexual revolution that is sweeping the nation and soon hopefully our very own town. The movement, known as Sexual Communism, is designed to curb chauvinistic urges on a spiritual path toward enlightenment. We are proud to present this brief sermon provided by the enigmatic leaders of this movement exclusively for this publication! Ladies and gentlemen, Rev. Max Temperance and the honourable Rev. B. Ashworth.

“Greetings, first let me dispel any misconceptions regarding Sexual Communism. Though we’ve adopted the term ‘communism’ we are not a political party. We do not endorse Carl Marx’s manifesto nor do we support any communist parties or revolutions which have occurred in the past or may occur in the future. We do not encourage the proletariat to rise up against the capitalists. We do however advocate the casting off of chains which keep people sexually repressed. Because only through the physical expression of love, enjoyment and satisfaction, through sex, can our deepest desires and needs be actualised and met. And if this capacity is suppressed, so to is our spiritual growth and development. The first step in the arduous but often enjoyable path to sexual enlightenment is to systematically escape the chains and smash through the barriers that limit us as sexual creatures. These include taboos, hang-ups, the objectification of sex, exploitation, socially imposed gender roles, and the focus of today’s article, machismo. Through sexual communism ‘machismo’ is slowly dismantled to reveal the true and pure core of masculinity. Once machismo is relinquished by offering himself up to a constant influx of sexual experiences with various partners, no longer does man feel the need to exert his manhood. But beware, sexual communism is not as easy and enjoyable as it may sound. Many will be opposed to your lifestyle change. They will call you a “slut,” a “hussy,” perhaps even a “harlot,” but never forget that those who oppose you are still sexually repressed. They live their life in fear of their own god given sexuality. You are on a righteous path, stay true and you will attain enlightenment. Look not to the hippie free-love movement of the 1960’s for inspiration. They were eager on the same path in which you are about to embark on but their so-called sexual revolution was slowly deluded and eventually burnt out by excessive drug abuse. One must constantly remain open-minded if they wish to attain enlightenment, but one mustn’t rely on mind altering drugs to maintain an open mind. Some Eastern religions, like Tantric Yoga, seem to offer insight into liberation through sexual unions, but these religions can be dangerous because of their exclusiveness. In such disciplines you are expected to focus on only one partner, while sexual communism allows for multiple partners and thus a more vast, varied, and all-inclusive experience. We identify with the motto: “To each according to her need, by each according to his ability.” And vice versa. However, in order to attain the level of spiritual enlightenment necessary to experience the true freedom inherent in this ideal, one must offer himself or herself up to monk-hood on a commune where the strict discipline of sexual communism is actually lived out.

Here is a run down of the regimen:

#1. Sexual acts will be performed with random partners, matched only by numerical representation, and paired on the occasion of copulation.

#2. The order of the sexual acts will be as follows. Both persons will kiss for 2 minutes. Both persons will passionately kiss for 1 minute. Both persons will begin to grope each other through clothing for 3 minutes. Both persons will disrobe. The male will receive oral sex for 6 minutes. The female will receive oral sex for 5 minutes, with the addition of 1 minute for the kissing of breasts. Intercourse will begin with the male on top for 3 minutes. The woman on top will be for 5 minutes, as she will need time to have an orgasm. If the male did not orgasm with the woman during that 5 minutes, then he has the option to continue having the woman on top, or revert to the man on top until orgasm. If the male orgasm has not been reached after 4 minutes, the act is cancelled.

#3. Sexual meets happen 5 times a month. All persons must attend at least 2 times a month.

#4. All public holidays will have a sexual act that corresponds with the holiday. Participation is optional, but each person must attend at least 10 holiday sex acts per year. These holiday sexual acts are to allow the naturally kinky habits to come to focus, but to not let them take over ones life on a day to day basis. NEW YEARS DAY = drunken group sex. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY = group sex with an African American theme. PASSOVER (aka: Assover) = spanking, cocaine, ass worship. GOOD FRIDAY = oral sex (both sexes, split into AM / PM shifts). EASTER = hide the eggs on strings in any orifice, paint your genitals. MOTHER’S DAY = any mother may choose between 2 hours oral sex, 2 hour massage, or a 2 hour gang bang. VICTORIA DAY = everyone dresses like a blond cocktail waitress and has sex on jello. MEMORIAL DAY = group sex in fields lined with wreaths while sounds of war explode in the air. FATHER’S DAY = 2 hour gang bang. CANADA DAY = everyone has drunken group sex, but must say sorry out of context at least 30 times. INDEPENDENCE DAY = group masturbation. CIVIC HOLIDAY = sex in a small car. LABOUR DAY = performing sexual acts that you dislike (Men; oral sex on women… Women; anal sex with men). THANKSGIVING DAY = reviewing personal videos of past holidays. REMEMBERANCE DAY = group masturbation to video highlights of past holidays. HANUKKAH = candle/hot wax sex, kosher food sex, sex with brown socks. CHRISTMAS DAY = turkey stuffing, special sauces. BOXING DAY = bondage and dentistry. This is a sufficient primer course on the massive and consuming topic. There is still much to explore and learn. Next lesson will focus on the liberation from false gender roles, the ethics of sexual communism, and technique. Stay tuned for more.

-The Exalted Reverend Max Temperance With consultation provided by, Rev. B. Ashworth